Script for Rugby Story - Cue and Clip

My group have decided to feature 3 sports stories; Rugby, Football and Swimming are the main sports with competitions around the island.

Here is my first version before editing:

Christ the King College celebrates an astonishing win of Twenty Seven to Five with their under thirteen's rugby team. Their first game of the season and playing an away game. The teams coach Kieran Leahy said he was proud of the boys. So we congratulate Nelson, Hollis, Bushnell, Williams, Sanderson, Davis, Dyer, Puckett, Early, Ward, Buckley, Lee, Smith, Cole, Turner and Wood from the Christ the King team.


And after editing:

Cue: Christ the King College are celebrating an astonishing win of Twenty Seven to Five with their under thirteen's rugby team. It was their first game of the season and playing an away game. The teams coach Keiran Leahy said he was proud of the boys.

Clip: The boys played exceptionally. After all their hard work in training they managed to secure the result they wanted. I am so proud to be their coach and have them represent the school.

Edits that were made and why:

I got rid of the boys names at the end because it was unnecessary and enabled us to create the story into a cue and clip having Kieran Leahy talk about the boys instead. This will make it sound more interesting for the listener.