Tuesday, 24 March 2015

Script for Football Story - Copy

This is the second sports story we are featuring.

First version:

Two Island football clubs are fined and disqualified from cup competitions. Ventnor and Cowes teams have been removed form competitions due to the fielding of ineligible players. After both teams succeeded astonishing wins they are no longer allowed to compete; whilst the teams they had beaten get reinstated.


After editing it I decided that the word "Ineligible" was to hard for the presenter to say fluently and due to the target audience being teenagers decided to make it sound less formal and more like a conversation.


After edits:

Two Island league football clubs have been fined and disqualified from junior cup competitions. Ventnor and Cowes junior teams have been removed form all remaining matches because they fielded  players already playing for higher division teams. After both teams succeeded astonishing wins they are no longer allowed to compete; whilst the teams they had beaten get reinstated.



No comments:

Post a Comment